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Communication Styles



Imagine this scenario: You're sitting in a crowded café, engrossed in a book when someone accidentally spills their drink on you. How would you respond? Do you speak up firmly but respectfully? Or do you suppress your feelings, only to find yourself seething with resentment? Our communication style reflects how we express our thoughts, feelings, and needs to others. In this blog post, we will explore the fascinating world of communication styles, ranging from passive to assertive, and examine the impact they have on our relationships.


The Spectrum of Communication Styles

Passive Communication

In the realm of communication, passive style is akin to being a wallflower at a party. Those who adopt a passive communication style tend to avoid conflict at all costs. They may struggle to express their opinions, needs, and desires, often sacrificing their own well-being for the sake of maintaining harmony. Passive communication can lead to misunderstandings, unmet needs, and a sense of powerlessness.


Aggressive Communication

Enter the bull in the glass shop – aggressive communication style. Those who lean towards aggression often prioritize their own needs and desires with little regard for others. This approach involves asserting oneself forcefully, inconsiderately, and even abrasively. Aggressive communication can result in feelings of fear, intimidation, and even damage relationships irreparably.


Passive-Aggressive Communication

The mysterious love child of passivity and aggression, passive-aggressive communication can be quite the challenging style to decode. People who employ this style often suppress their true feelings and desires, providing subtle hints or indirect actions to express their frustrations. For example, leaving a sarcastic note instead of addressing an issue directly. Passive-aggressive communication can lead to confusion, resentment, and strained relationships.


Assertive Communication

Assertive communication strikes a healthy balance between passivity and aggression. It involves expressing oneself honestly, directly, and respectfully while considering the rights and feelings of others. Individuals who utilize assertive communication style express their needs, set boundaries, and stand up for themselves confidently. This approach fosters clear and effective communication, encourages healthy relationships, and promotes self-respect.


Finding Balance and Becoming Assertive

Effective communication is the backbone of healthy relationships. While our default communication style may vary, it is important to recognize that we have the ability to adapt and learn. Adopting an assertive communication style allows us to express ourselves authentically, maintain healthy boundaries, and foster genuine connections.


Tips for cultivating assertive communication.

  1. Practice self-awareness: Notice your communication patterns and the impact they have on your relationships.

  2. Speak up respectfully: Express your thoughts, feelings, and needs directly and honestly, while respecting the rights and viewpoints of others.

  3. Active listening: Develop your listening skills, showing empathy and understanding towards others' perspectives.

  4. Use "I" statements: Replace accusing language with "I" statements to express your feelings and thoughts without blaming others.

Embracing an assertive communication style empowers us to foster healthier relationships, assert our needs, and build self-confidence. While passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive communication may provide temporary relief or a false sense of control, they ultimately hinder our ability to communicate effectively and establish meaningful connections.


Remember, communication is a skill that can be honed and refined. By choosing to embrace assertive communication, we open the doors to enriched relationships, enhanced personal growth, and improved overall well-being. Let's strive for open, respectful, and assertive communication, one interaction at a time.

The goal of assertiveness is to express your feelings in a healthy way, rather than to change the thoughts, feelings, or behaviors of another. Using assertive communication will help you to feel better about yourself.


Would you like to improve your communication style? Therapy can help! You can book an initial phone consultation here or call (859) 334-0513.

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